


always mad and drunk (but i love her like no other)

by holywatershed



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Pregnancy, Sort of Wynaught?... but not really, Supportive Earp Sisters, Trans Female Character, Unplanned Pregnancy, Wayhaught ENDGAME THO, i mean wynonna and nicole fuck in this but they're not in love, trans!nicole, wynaught
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-14 00:49:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11771994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holywatershed/pseuds/holywatershed
Summary: She held onto one of the chips stacks nearby which seemed like a great idea because she really felt like passing out in the middle of a gas station’s poorly-swept aisle; and hell knows that was when she just couldn’t ignore it any longer.--or; the one where wynonna is pregnant with nicole's baby from a one night stand and wonders if she can make things work without both of them hurting her sister in the process.(canon divergence au)





	always mad and drunk (but i love her like no other)

**Author's Note:**

> (i might get dragged for this but the idea couldn't leave my mind for days.)  
>    
> keep in mind: nicole is a trans woman in this so if you expect lots of smut and no plot like in other works with trans ppl then hun you're probably in the wrong place bc that's not what this is going to be.
> 
> i. wynonna never slept with that revenant or doc but instead banged nicole some time after their scenes in 1.07 (where the top shelf ass iconic quote came from. bless up)
> 
> ii. nicole and waverly weren't a thing back then so no cheating, no possession either. 
> 
> enjoy this.

  

_Et voilà._

 

“This should be it. Come to mama.” Uttered an exceedingly pleased Wynonna as her trade-mark wide and toothy grin began to make itself present on her face.

 

After all, she had succeeded in her thorough search for a bigger bag of barbecue flavored chips than the one currently hidden inside of her very large winter coat after what looked to be more than two hours of mandatory coffee break.

 

God bless Canada and its weather, instantly thought the woman as she made her way to the establishment’s main entrance not even bothering to hide anymore the newest ( _and quite obvious)_ items in her hand  ̶ which she definitely was not going to pay for  ̶ when a sudden wash of white flashed before her eyes, blinding her for a few seconds and almost stricking her numb, but just as she blinked away the dizziness she took notice of how slow the time moved; and how the dim lights in the tiny drugstore of the gas station made it only worse.

 

 

“Woah, shit.”

 

 

She held onto one of the chips stacks nearby which seemed like a great idea because she really felt like passing out in the middle of a gas station’s poorly-swept aisle; and hell knows that was when she just couldn’t ignore it any longer.

 

There it was.

 

The same recurring nausea that visited her on almost every morning, _(okay, so it wasn’t every morning per se considering that she wakes up after brunch hour on a daily basis)_ and stayed for a couple hours until she emptied her whole stomach and ocasionally caused some slight tremors in her body that she tried to keep underground from the rest of the BBD team.

 

Something, without a doubt, was wrong.

 

But she kept on bottling everything up. She felt the need to, specially when that sensation of uneasiness came along whenever she showed any type of indication she wasn’t in control of things anymore.

 

Wynonna wished she could stop it. _But how could she?_

 

With many questions clogging her mind she then realized she had started having less and less answers lately and that scared her shitless.

 

 

To be truly honest, she really hadn’t read much into her weird-ass recent behavior, mostly due to the fact that she usually spends her nights and days with alcohol going in and out of her pores.

 

 _It was the Earp way._ She snorted, bitterly remembering those words coming from somebody that once represented a father figure in her life. She felt like shit, yes, but that wasn’t any news for her. In fact, feeling like shit was probably the least horrendous thing for an Earp to feel these days.

 

Moments passed when she finally came back to her normal and stupidly charming self, the white flashes behind her eyes long gone.

She cleared her throat and gathered herself up.  _So, um  ̶that totally wasn’t super embarrassing at all…_

Thankfully, the gritty gas station showed to be almost deserted so the urge to hide her face as she passed by the counter and that cashier that always sold pot to her at a very neat price in exchange of a half-assed handjob in the storage room and some boob graze was almost non-existent.

Though the lack of color on her face probably turned a few of the heads in the area, whom most likely asumed she was drunk off her ass _again._ She recognized some of those in there. Living in a small town among the same old familiar faces made her feel as if she would never get away from the burden that being the Heir represented.

She briefly looked outside, catching the smallest trace of snow falling from the pretty bright sky and beamed on how Purgatory didn’t look half as bad as she thought. Not bad for a town ruled by demonic entities and filled with even creepier people. Was it even autumn yet? She shrugged and continued her walk towards the exit.

As she walked out the door and skipped to the cold inside of her truck she searched for the keys, turned the engine on and blew some hot air into her gloves; trying to obtain some kind of warmth since her truck has never heard of something called ‘heating’ before.

"This fucking town.” she mumbled in an irritable tone and turned the engine on.

Right after she did so, the whole truck shook itself thanks to the ignition and glove compartiment opened. Revealing its contents and dropping some onto the sloppy floor. 

 

“Ugh!” she raged and threw her head back. “You know what, I ain’t got time for thi  ̶ ” she stopped then sat there wordlessly, staring with curiosity the objects on the floor. Papers, receipts, an expired driving ticket, watermelon flavored bubble-gum wrappers and…

 

Condoms.

 

A pack of about five lubbed up, unopened, hypoallergenic condoms. 

 

Her eyes widened comically, "So that's where the little bastards were, huh." she spat and blinked away the bizarre sensation taking over her body. No, it wasn't nausea anymore. She didn’t pick them up, nor the other contents. Wynonna simply got out of her truck and walked back into the store, a slight wobble in her step.

With a permament scowl, 1 gallon of orange juice and 7 pregnancy tests, she drove back to the homestead.

 

It was the longest drive back home she had ever had in her 27 years of life.

 

 

\--

 

Actually, waiting for her pee to make up a result on a pale blue stick felt longer than that drive back home.

 

\--

“Hey, what’s gotten into you?” Dolls had questioned her the next afternoon after leaving the office. She had turned down his invitation to get some pancakes together, which probably activated some sort of red sign in his head.

 

_Wow. You really want to know?_

 

Pancakes sounded delightful, and she might've welcomed his request with gusto but she was still a bit shaky due to her ...situation and didn't want to give things away just yet. Or ever. Plus she has a hard time acting cool and not being a complete embarrassment around him. 

"Me? Nah, nothing." she told him, "Came home from Shorty's at ‘round 6 a.m. and I don’t feel like partying right now after seeing way too many old man nipples." she explained nonchalantly, making herself busy with the broken zipper of her jacket. 

Dolls looked at her unamused, "It’s not a party, Wynonna. We’re going to a pancake house."

"Same damn thing." she remarked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, Boss it's been nice talking to you. I'm off."

The woman turned her back on the deputy and ignored the caring looks he threw at her way. It pained her, though walking away from him was the safest way to escape from the consequences of recent events, or so she thought. 

It wasn't like she couldn't deal with this. She's been sexually active since she was fourteen for crying out loud. She's had to deal with a few broken condoms, Plan-B pill taking and she's seen herself peeing on so many pregnancy tests for the longest time. She's never not had sex without a condom. Not once. She wasn't an idiot when it came to that at least. 

 

That is except...

 

_A back hit the bed with light force. The heaving breathing right beside her ear, a tall figure placed on top of her though the weight wasn't suffocating like others.  Impacient fingers making their journey to her stomach and Wynonna felt them leave hot traces behind as they touched her skin. Both hearts beating faster every second that passed, blood pumping to all kinds of different places. The room was almost too dark but the lack of much eyesight provided new sensations that drove her to a point of almost catching herself on fire. The alcohol they had both consumed was almost wearing off, which made her touches more determined._

_She tried to focus on the body grinding on top of her and with sure hands, she reached out to touch right between some legs that would go on for miles, creating a delicious sound of response from the other person._

_"Wynonna" said breathily the tender voice as wet lips connected with hers once again._

 

 

"Wynonna?" and so Deputy Marshall Dolls brought her back to where their conversation was finishing. 

As he said her name, Wynonna tried her best to fight the sudden uptick in her heart rate. She focused on her emotions unmistakably displayed across her too heated and too flushed face. Looking at him she saw waiting eyes, concerned —but he says nothing. Even if there are thousands of questions running through his mind. He doesn't expect to understand what goes on her mind, wonders if he ever will. Instead, he asks her another question.

"We'll talk? Later, right?" he says with uncertainty.

Fixing a nod at him, "Sure, Dolls." She smiles softly at him, an action that even surprised her herself. 

Wynonna opts for a hit and run, not wanting to continue being a part of this suffocating exchange of words with Dolls but bumps into the person she was also running away from; mainly the reason why she considered skipping work, actually. Somebody she'd been trying to avoid ever since the results. She feels herself stumble. A tall readhead silently apologizing and let her eyes do the talking.

Nicole flashed her a wide and dimpled-grin and her stomach feels like its gonna crawl out of her body.

 _How can anyone even smile like that?_   Normally, Wynonna would've commented on Nicole's clumsiness at work but now she's struggling with even breathing correctly, let alone spite a playful remark at the ridiculously tall figure that just casually placed a hand on her arm as she passed her by and went to sit on her desk; which caused her whole body to go into a cold sweat.

Then Waverly walks behind her girlfriend carrying a large book and bumps her hips into her sister's. "Ready to kick some demon's ass?" she asks, putting a string of hair behind her ear and places the book down in front of her. 

She swallowed the gut wrenching feeling and fixes her posture; pulling Peacemaker out. 

Denial had seemed easy for the past few hours.  

 

\--

 

Next day everyone at BBD seemed so eager to help Nicole with ideas just to make the perfect date for her and Waverly. People loved how well they fit together and slowly became _that_ couple. 

Seeing them together, doing their newly-couple things; she fought not to act like she was about to start shouting at everyone about how much of an awful and selfish idiot she was at any minute now. It was Nicole's lunch time and Wynonna had fully intended on talking to her.

She catches them kissing in Nedley's office. The sight throwing her off guard. Her sister holding onto Officer Haught's neck and grabbing onto her uniform shirt, breathlessly. Waverly corners Nicole into Nedley's desk and bumps into it. They separate for a while and they laugh, staring into each other's eyes. They pay no attention to her though and continue doing their thing.

 _They're in love. They really are._ She pondered silently in amusement as she shut her eyes and turned her back on them.

 

\--

 

The two of them   ̶Waves and Nicole, that is   ̶ were having their much planned romantic dinner at the homestead. It's simple but sweet. There was soft music playing and the lights were dim. She was slightly surprised at how romantic the setting looked.

The closest thing to an elegant restaurant in the all kinds of unconventional town of Purgatory had cancelled by accident their reservation and instead, they brought the party into the homestead, which seemed to be more like their style anyway. Wynonna told them she didn't mind as long as they put a sock somewhere near her eyesight. Horny bastards.

Everything was going wonderful. She tried to behave as normal as possible. For them. Neither noticed when she rejected a glass of the wine on their table because they were too busy making eyes at each other. _"Wine is for pussies."_  she had reasoned.

Until Waverly whispered softly at her a couple of hours later, Nicole long gone.

"I think I kind of love her, Wynonna." Waverly said, meeting her eyes; nervously holding her own fingers into her hands. 

 

_Oh._

 

Wynonna deflates completely, shoulders actually slumping forward. 

Then, she storms off. As desperate as her numb legs could let her. She decided then, she wouldn't tell Waverly just yet. Not for a while anyways. First, she needed to tell the other person involved in the same shitstorm as her. 

She slams the bathroom's door open, not caring about leaving a perplexed and quite confused Waverly down in the living room area.

She crawled down, her sweaty back on the cold wall and allowed herself to finally collapse. The weight of the chaotic hours prior started to become realer than ever and placed itself on her shoulders. There's movement downstairs, she hears. Of course Waverly was going to follow her. Quick steps climb up the stairs and they stop at the door. 

"Wynonna?" asks a small voice.

The door was left open, Waverly takes that as a good sign.

Wynonna on the other hand is on the verge of a melt-down. With eyes closed, she starts crying into her hands; her body close to violently shaking in time with her sobs.

The sight right in front of Waverly's eyes is terrifying. She hates the fact that she feels completely helpless. "Hey, hey." Waverly's head sinks down on Wynonna's shoulder as she holds her sister.

Waverly doesn't realize she's crying too until she reaches out to touch her own face. The air is tense and silent for another moment, and then Waverly says, “I love you," against her hair.

That only adds salt to the wound. "I fucked up baby girl. I can't  ̶ I fucked up" she cracks and stumbles on her words. She wouldn't tell her. _Shouldn't._   At least not yet, not until the sole idea of bringing a child into this world would stop paralizing her completely, and when the constant awareness of something she did not ask for being in her womb wouldn't feel like a heavier burden than what being the Heir was. She thought of Nicole, poor and completely unaware Nicole who had been dragged into this whole mess and choked a larger sob into her sister's arms. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Waverly wishes she could go back to Wynonna comforting her instead.

_It wasn't supposed to be like this._

 

\--

 

She didn't show up for work the following day, nor did Waverly.

Nicole kept sending worrisome looks at two vacant spaces in the station and broodily contemplated on the silence and lack of donuts for the rest of her shift.

She sighed. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope ya liked this lil wynonna centric chapter; next one is nicole's pov.  
> also, this is non beta'ed so sorry if i fuck up at times. thoughts?


End file.
